I've been hearing about a few things in the LGBT community that are really making me angry. You know, we don't do anything harmful to anyone, so why do people muster up so much hate for us? You could be transferring all that hate and passion into something else, rather than hating a community that wants nothing more than equal rights.
First and foremost, I heard a story about an A+ student heading in a bright, fortunate direction, but her school forced her to leave after she came out to them as lesbian. Here's a small article about it.
Why does it matter that she is lesbian? Does that have some negative influence on whether or not you believe she can be a brilliant student? We're not inhuman. We think just like every other human does, and I don't believe anyone would do such a thing. Our orientation has nothing to do with how we perform academically, professionally, or in society. We're still human.
The next thing that really made me angry had to do with the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. A brave, strong-willed woman decided to tweet exactly how she felt about the situation. Here's the tweet:
First of all: who are you to say whether or not God is pleased? Is he sending you messages in your hateful head? I would think that this is why Christians get a bad image, and these are some of the reasons why gays/bisexuals/lesbians are still considered a minority. My other thought on this is...how will this end the earth? Because we're allowed to be open about our orientation in the military, God is just going to smite us all? I just found this to be the most ridiculous bit of ignorance I've seen.
Also, in response to that, there are a few states that allow same-sex marriages, and in fact, many people have married their same-sex partner. So my question to the bible thumpers are: If these have happened, and God is so against it, why won't he smite us all? Oh, right, because instead, we're just going to burn in Hell. Totally forgot that!
I had to get that out of my system, because the ignorance of our country as a whole is starting to become more and more real as I see this things being said. I can't, for the life of me, comprehend why people harbor such hate for the LGBT community, when we just want equal rights. I just wish I knew how they could sleep at night, as their blood pumps hate throughout their entire body.
In light of National Coming Out Day (which was yesterday, but it's National Coming Out Week at my school, so all your arguments are invalid), I decided I would post about that major turning point in any Gay, Lesbian, or bisexual individual's life: Coming out.
Now from what I've seen and experienced, the reaction is either on or the other. The people you come out to can be accepting, or they won't. There's no "Well, I suppose I'm okay with it, only IF..." No. In my experience, that will turn into not accepting the individual. Because this can go either way, this is never an easy task for anyone. Hell, even to this day, I still get nervous when I tell new people that I'm gay. You just never know if that person will immediately turn you down, simply because of your sexual orientation.
It's really upsetting that there are even people that won't accept their gay child. Also, it's upsetting that some people just can't accept a gay person in general. I was told by my friend, who was telling his mother about a play that was going on at school, something she said. He was mentioning that one of the students in our school was playing a gay character, and the actor himself is gay. His mother then says "That's a shame." He asked for clarification, and then she said "It's a shame that you have gay people at your school." It's things like this that make coming out the most challenging thing in these people's lives. When they're surrounded by people like this, it can result in one of two things. They can either:
A.) Keep themselves "in the closet", never feeling as if they're allowed to truly be who they are.
B.) Become discouraged or hurt because once they're out, because their "choice" just isn't right.
People get bullied because of their sexuality, and if you keep up with the LGBTQ community, you know about the handful of teen suicides because of ignorant acts like this.
After bringing up our "choice", I thought of another point. It's somewhat off-topic, but I feel like it needs to be addressed. I'm sure that, when coming out, someone could be asked "Why are you choosing to be gay/bisexual/lesbian?" This really gets to me, because this is definitely something you don't choose. I'll admit, I would never choose being gay, because love lives don't come as easily for us. We don't have it the hardest, but it's definitely not all peaches and gravy. No one in their right mind would CHOOSE to be gay, and when someone says that we "choose" it, it really just makes my skin crawl. "Do you choose to be straight?"
I had to keep that short, or I'd be going forever.
If you're thinking about coming out, I have a few tips that might be good for you. This is mostly coming from my own experience, and from what I see happening with others.
1. I've noticed that, in this day in age, the teens and young adults are more accepting. If your friends seem to think that being gay/bisexual/lesbian is okay, then go for it. It's better to be out to a few than to no one at all.
2. Test the water with your parents. If they tend to have old fashioned views, maybe just mention things about the gay community. If they don't seem okay with it, maybe wait until you're not under their care, and you've got yourself settled and independent before you come out. You just never know what could happen to you if you're still in their care, and they find out that you're gay.
3. If you don't think you can find anyone to come out to, find a local group of some sort. I'm not very knowledgeable on what kinds of groups there are, but if you're in a college setting, there's bound to be a club you can join where you can be open and makes some friends while you're at it.
I don't have all the answers, but I certainly like to think I do when it comes to this subject. Like I said, it's never an easy thing to do. Once you do come out, though, it changes your life, whether it's for better or worse.
Song of the Week!
So this is, yet again, a song by The Bird and the Bee. I've been obsessed with this band for a few weeks now, and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite of their songs now. It's called "Again and Again" (as you can see), and for some reason, I kind of feel like I can relate to this song.
We all have something we aspire to be in the future. For some, it's something that can be easily attained, and for everyone else, it's dreaming big. It gives us something to look forward to, and something that can drive us through our lives. For me, I aspire to be a famous, published author.
I'm sure most of you already knew this, but that's something that would be a dream come true for me. There's just a pleasure I get from writing that I don't get from anything else. I love creating fictional worlds with diverse characters. I love it so much, I almost get enveloped in it, and this doesn't bother me one bit. Hell, I could probably get lost in my writing for a whole day if I wanted to. (The most I've ever spent writing in a day is 9-ish hours).
I love writing so much, I obsess over how well I do it. (You may be able to relate this next section to something you love to do.) When I write, I feel like I'm doing amazing things. The words are flying across the page, the description is coming to life, and I'm feeling great. Right the minute someone wants to read it, or it needs to be presented, my mindset immediately turns to "Oh my lord. They're gonna hate it. I just know it. Everything sucked. Gah!" Naturally, as a human being, that's just how things go.We want to perfect our things that we're good at, and we stress over what other people will think of it.
If I want to become published, though, I have to be patient. Apparently, publishing companies are very picky about the things you send in. It makes sense, of course, because they want to make sure people will actually buy the books. Not only that, but I'd have to work my tail off on a kick-butt novel or short story. Even then, I'd have to make sure that people would actually like the book. So let's see...I'd probably need a literary agent, and then a publicist (if I REALLY want to be famous)...dang. Becoming a famous, published author is gonna be expensive!
So there's my passion, all out there for you to read about. I'm sure you have one too, and if you do, I want to hear about it! Comment on this post about something you dream (or dreamed) of becoming. I'd love to hear what you have to say!
My Song of the Week!
So this is a band called The Bird and the Bee, and I've been obsessing over them for a while. This is my favorite of their songs, and probably their most popular. They just have such a unique sound, and I always feel so happy when I listen to them. (And it's NOT in a foreign language!)
Let's face it: We aren't gonna love every single person we meet in our lives. We're always going to come across people who displease us in a variety of ways, and it just can't be stopped. So naturally, as human beings, what do we do to make sure we never see them again? Oh, of course! We avoid them.
There are many reasons in which you choose to avoid someone. Ironically, one of them could be because of how fond you are of them (and by this, I mean you're highly interested in them). Why on earth would you go head-first into a possible, jovial conversation with your crush, when you can just avoid them? I mean, you're obviously just going to embarrass yourself if you talk to them, so avoiding them is just the best thing! I find this completely paradoxical, but I notice myself doing it sometimes.
Here's one I'm sure a lot of us can relate to. We call in sick to work, and we avoid the outside world for fear that someone we work with will see us. Or, we say we can't cover for someone's shift, and you avoid anyone that works there (or that place of work). Of course, some people might lie to avoid coming in for an extra shift, or even coming to a scheduled shift, and when they do, they use their avoiding skills to be unnoticed! Could you imagine how bad it would be if someone saw you after you told them you couldn't work that day for some obscure reason? Utter. Chaos.
Lastly, and everyone's personal favorite, we avoid people who just plain creep us the eff (that word that rhymes with "duck") out. Being creeped out is just one of those things that no one likes. It's just a statistic (I'm sure). Like, 100/100 people don't enjoy it. Anyway, you see said person, and you immediately think of a detour. Creepers just always be creepin', so you gotta stay away from them, right?
There's also things like avoiding an ex, but that's an obvious one. Once they're an ex, it's just a big, confusing cluster of emotions that you don't even want to deal with by seeing them.
So like I said, it just seems to be part of human nature. We avoid people because we just don't want to be uncomfortable. Discomfort is bad. Of course, it can be hurtful for the other person (if they ever found out...mwahahaha), but at that moment, we're only thinking of ourselves. Plus, who on earth wants a creeper to talk to them? Not I!
So I started a new poll. Go to the top right corner of my poll to vote!
Song of the Week!
This is, (as you can see on the title) "Sixth Sense" by Brown Eyed Girls. They're a super popular Korean band, and their comeback has been awaited by countless fans. This song and video just blew me away, especially the two girls' high notes. It's an amazing song! Listen!
Alright, that's all for now. Peace out, home skillets!
I'm not sure who all is like this, but I tend to over-think things a lot. In other words, I overanalyze people's actions, and I tend to draw far-fetched conclusions from what I see. I'm not all that sure why I do it, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing, but I just do.
For example, a friend of mine that I've known for a while is extremely supportive of the gay community, and he doesn't talk to me all that much, but I've known him for many years. When he ever comments on my Facebook statuses or just in general (which isn't very often), he's almost flirting with me. I question whether or not he likes me, and I still do, even from that pathetic amount of motive that he gave me.
Another example: In one of my classes, and the guy that sits next to me would usually move up to the front with his friend, assuming she wanted him to, and that she was actually there. One day, she asked him to move up to the seat next to her, and he declined. Coincidentally, this was the same day he initiated a conversation with me. Thus, I thought there was a possibility that he liked me, and not in just a friendly sort of way.
I bet you're thinking: "Seriously Jeff, how did you come up with that?" And my answer to that would be: "I have no idea." I might be the only one in the world who's like this. If I am, well...cool? Either way, it's one of the most annoying qualities I possess. It leads me to false hope, and I just get hurt from thinking too deep, and drawing such strange conclusions.
Anyway, do you do something similar to this? If so, comment on this post and tell me about it! It'll be comforting to know that I'm not the only one who over-thinks about everything.
Don't forget to vote in the poll in the top left corner of my blog! Just one more week to answer!
Song of the Week!
So this is "Forget It" by Jewelry S. It took a while for me to like the song, but it wasn't too long before I fell in love with it. It's the perfect mix of pretty and upbeat. Definitely a feel-good song!
That's all for now! Have a great day/night! (Technically it's night).
You're having a rough day. You just finished work/class/your school day, and you're ready to just get home and relax. You're on your way out of the building, and you notice someone trailing behind you. Like the kind person you are, you hold it open for them. Then, the walk right through the door, ignoring your very presence. You're pissed, right? They couldn't even say thank you?
That's right, people. Today is about manners. Us nice people love to dole them out because it's in our nature, but to others, they appear as if they don't even care. If the first paragraph doesn't apply to you, you better get reading, because I guarantee that you will win some respect with some manner usage.
I think of manners as just the simple "please" and "thank you" and "You're welcome"'s that we say to people at the appropriate times. Also saying "God bless you" when someone sneezes is a form of manners. They really aren't that to use, so why can't people just use them? Saying "thank you" when someone does something nice for you, and saying "you're welcome" in return is very simple to do. Even holding the door open for someone is super simple. It just bewilders me that people just can't use manners.
Getting a "thank you" out of someone seems to be like pulling teeth (to me) anymore. Of course, I'm on a college campus, in which it seems no one knows how to operate like a decent human being (just a generalization. Not EVERYONE in college is like that. Just a lot.) I'll admit, sometimes I forget to hold a door open, mostly because I'm too trapped in my own brain to realize it, but I usually look behind me to see if anyone is coming. If they are, I hold it open for them. Now, when they say thank you, it makes me feel like they appreciated what I did. When they don't, I immediately lose respect for them. It's not my job to hold doors open for people I don't know. I could easily just let it close on them, but I wouldn't, because I'm polite. Not only does it make them seem rude, but it also makes them appear to be "too good" for anyone. Seriously: Swallow your pride and say thank you. It's not that hard.
"Please" is also really freakin' easy to use. Yet, almost everyone forgets to use it. It's really not that hard to just add it to a request. "Can you hand me the stapler, please?" See? It's so easy. I feel as if it's so easy, that I start refusing things to my friends because they don't use it. It's also not my job to hand people things, so not saying please is like not even wanting it in the first place. If you can't even say please, why are you trying to ask me to do something for you?
Another one that bugs me is when people try to get by you without saying "excuse me". Some people just think squeezing by you in that tight space that's smaller than an ant, and nearly knocking you over is just fine. Though, I'm sure the person they nearly ran over had some choice words for them. Saying excuse me is also simple to do, and it makes things easier on you, because 9/10 times that you say it, the person you're saying it to will move out of the way.
Saying excuse me to get someone's attention (usually if they're speaking to someone already) is another important concept to remember. Just saying "hey!" or "*insert name here*!" over and over again becomes quite annoying. However, simply said those two magical words will grant you a glorious path to victory! If what you have to say is truly that important to you, saying "excuse me" is the least of your worries.
See? Using manners is simple, and I guarantee that it will make you appear to be a better, more respectable person if you use them. For those who don't use them normally, try it. You'll probably get a smile or two from someone. However, if you run into someone who doesn't like manners, well...maybe you should refer them to this post. Living in a mannerless world is such a scary thing to think about.
Song of the Week!
"Asleep" by Emily Browning. It's one of the single most beautiful songs I've ever heard, and I get chills every time I hear it. Not only is this song good, but the movie is pretty amazing as well. Check it, yo.
Also, don't forget to vote in the poll on the top left corner of my blog! Your input is appreciated!
"Such long words in your title, Jeff!" I know, I know. I'm pretty good like that.
Today, I'll be talking about something that takes so much effort, but is actually the easiest thing in the world to do. It's something that haunts us all, and can make even the strongest of people shake at the knees. Yes, kids. I'm talking about starting conversations with strangers (the good kind, if there's such a thing).
It's that time of year at the university I go to, in which people are now separated from their high-school besties, and they desperately want to make new friends. A majority of the people, of course, are thinking, "Just going up to a stranger and talking to them? How frightening! What if they think I'm weird?" I was like this as a freshman as well, but the thing is, it's really not hard to find some common conversation starting ground with someone you've never met.
So let's refer back to the mentality most people have when it comes to initiating conversations with strangers. Did you refer to it? Paragraph two, in the quotations? Good! Now we're on the same track. Well, the person you're about to talk to is probably thinking the same thing. In most cases (especially in a college setting), they're trying to make friends as well. Unless the person is just a cold hearted witch (but with a B), they're most likely going to just go along with it.
How do you start one of these conversations, you say? Quite simple, actually!
1. Compliment an article of clothing they're wearing.
I've noticed that people stare at my shirts a lot. I know, I know, it's because of my impeccable style, but this isn't the point. They stare at it, smile slightly, and I can tell that they like it. If they wanted to talk to me, all they have to say is "I like your shirt! Where'd you get it?" Or something along those lines. I can guarantee that you'll at least have a minute long conversation with them. What you wear can do wonders.
2. Butt in on a conversation.
Use this sparingly, though. You don't want to cut in on someone talking about their family problems, only to hear you say "Oh my gosh! I have those too!" Anyway, if you hear someone talking to their friend about a band, TV show, animal, flavor of cake, or anything else that you can relate to, say something! It might sound like you're eavesdropping, but trust me, I do this a lot at work. Someone was talking about a video game I like, and I asked them, "Yo! You talkin' 'bout Bioshock?" (Except I sounded much less ganster-like). It was just that simple, and it could be just as simple for you!
3. Be the reason a conversation happens.
Yes. I'm telling you to have impeccable style. Just kidding! In other words, simply be yourself. Find ways to express yourself, and just go for it. If you want to wear a panda bear hat (which I will end up doing at some point) out and about, then do it! Someone will end up saying something about it. I mean, who wouldn't? You're wearing a panda hat! (Of course, you can wear any kind of hat you want. I'm not limiting you to pandas, even though they're adorable.)
These are just a few ways, but definitely not all of them. I know it's not easy to just talk to someone you've never met. Believe me, I know. If the fear of being rejected by the person is the only thing from stopping you, it's completely understandable, but easily able to be worked through. Just take a deep breath, walk up to that stranger, and tell her that her skirt is tucked into her underwear. You'll be a lifesaver, and you'll probably make a new friend.
Almost forgot to tell you...vote in the poll I made at the top left corner! Do it! Yeah!
Song of the Week!
So there were two songs I couldn't stop listening to this past week, and I was debating which one I should put up. I was so stuck, that I'm just going to post both!
This song came out last week, and I can't get over how amazing it is. The video is also really adorable.
I've been jamming to this since I got it yesterday. The rap section in the song is actually really cool, and I don't really like rap music.
