Stereotyping

I know that there's plenty of people who feel the same way I do about this, but I felt like I needed my own say in this. When someone hears the word "gay" in reference to a person, a plethora of things come to their mind. "He/She probably dresses like a man/woman." "Show tunes are their thing!" "OMIGOSH YOU SHOULD BE MY GAY BOYFRIEND." Oh, and my personal favorite. "I'm cool with them, as long as they don't hit on me." When I hear all of this, I personally feel degraded.


The gay community has been striving to gain equal rights for many years, and it hasn't been an easy journey. We, technically, are considered minorities, seeing as we won't be allowed the same rights as anyone else. And no, I'm not saying gays have it the hardest, but I AM saying that we don't have it easy. We can't show affection for our partner in public without feeling as if some form of discrimination is upon us. I'm sure I speak for the whole community when I say that we want to just be able to openly show that we love someone of the same gender, just as heterosexual couples show that they love their partners without being judged.


Not only that, but we're discriminated against when it comes to getting a job. If the boss doesn't approve of someone being gay, he'll surely just fire them, or not hire them if he finds out when they apply. What difference does it make? How on earth would that affect job performance? Oh yeah, that's right. People believe stereotypes.



First off, just because I tell you I'm gay, and you HAPPEN to be the same gender as I, it doesn't mean I'm attracted to you. I don't want to get with every man I see, just as you don't want to get with every woman you see. I've had a friend ask me, every time I looked at a guy, "Would you do him?" No, I wouldn't, because I'm not a slut.


Not every gay male is feminine. I know and have seen plenty of jock-type gay guys. We don't all want to be women.


Ladies, as flattered as we are by you loving us because we're attracted to guys, stop. We have more than one dimension, and we won't be your "gay boyfriend". That doesn't even make sense. I've had a personal experience with this one. I had a friend who would constantly talk about how I'm gay. She would always bring it up in conversations, almost as if she was reminding me. One day, while we were eating lunch, I said something that was funny (I think...) and her response was "Oh Jeff, I don't think I would love you if you weren't gay." Well, yeah, I'm sure you would, because I would probably be the same person, just attracted to girls. Being gay is not the only thing I want to be thought of, and I'm sure I'm also not alone on that one. Anyway...more stereotypes...


Oh, here's one. And yes, I have been asked this before. "Do you get turned on when you look at your own penis?" I won't even go on about how stupid I feel that question is.


There are many other stereotypes out there, these are the ones that just irk me the most. I will say that, yes, there are many people that fit these negative stereotypes (well, most of them), but it has nothing to do with the fact that they're gay. If some guy is hitting on a straight guy, knowing that he is flirting with a straight guy, this has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's gay, it has to do with the fact that he doesn't know his boundaries. 




I just feel like the gay community is never going to be taken seriously because of how we are viewed by society. We're seen as girly, horny rainbow-crazed freaks who run around having sex with other men and dressing in women's clothing (a dramatization, of course). I don't think that this means these people need to change the way they portray themselves, but rather how people judge them. There are always gonna be the few who act exactly the way society views them, but that doesn't mean gays, as a whole, are stereotypical. We're never going to be treated the same at that rate, which would mean that, like we all are taught, our opposers need to see beyond the stereotype, and not let that cloud their vision of the people we truly are inside. I certainly don't want to live in a world where I'm prohibited from marrying the man I love, and I most DEFINITELY don't want to live in this world knowing that I'm judged because of the one thing people see me as. Gay.




To end this entry, I'll share a picture I feel is very accurate. 

Support + Friends =...Well, it Doesn't Always Happen

You would expect, and hope, that your friends would be your main source of support for you and your choices (other than family, of course). What happens when you have those certain friends that just seem to leave you in the dust when it comes to being supported? How do you handle hearing that something about you is just something they don’t support?

Sorry, but I like to use these examples of my homosexuality, because they seem so relevant at times. I have had/still have friends that were completely against gay marriage. Obviously, I’m completely for it. It’s hard hearing that someone I admire and support in every way feels like I shouldn’t be happy in the future. I almost feel furious at them, so badly wanting to just give them every breath of spiteful words that I ever could, but I know that it just wouldn’t be worth it. What could I possibly say? 

That’s where the dilemma kicks in. It’s not like you can force them to support something that they don’t stand for, but how do you handle it when it happens? The best I’ve been able to do is try and avoid the subject at all costs, but when these friends (because they don’t ALWAYS keep their harsh opinions to themselves) say something offensive about it, I feel as if I have to retaliate, no matter how much I care about them. I don’t make fun of what they stand for, so I don’t expect them to do the same.

This support doesn’t even have to be drastic. It can even be smaller things. Just little reminders that say that they’re your friend, and they have your back no matter what. Acting a certain way about someone’s beliefs or what they stand for can leave them feeling abandoned. It could make them feel as if they’re the only one standing up against the forces of their opposition. Even if you don’t agree with some belief they just keep ranting on about, just say that it’s at LEAST interesting (because that’s a very neutral answer, according to my Humanities teacher), or praise them for how passionate they are about it, because aspects like that make us human. Friends need to be supportive, because no one deserves to feel alone.