Stereotyping

I know that there's plenty of people who feel the same way I do about this, but I felt like I needed my own say in this. When someone hears the word "gay" in reference to a person, a plethora of things come to their mind. "He/She probably dresses like a man/woman." "Show tunes are their thing!" "OMIGOSH YOU SHOULD BE MY GAY BOYFRIEND." Oh, and my personal favorite. "I'm cool with them, as long as they don't hit on me." When I hear all of this, I personally feel degraded.


The gay community has been striving to gain equal rights for many years, and it hasn't been an easy journey. We, technically, are considered minorities, seeing as we won't be allowed the same rights as anyone else. And no, I'm not saying gays have it the hardest, but I AM saying that we don't have it easy. We can't show affection for our partner in public without feeling as if some form of discrimination is upon us. I'm sure I speak for the whole community when I say that we want to just be able to openly show that we love someone of the same gender, just as heterosexual couples show that they love their partners without being judged.


Not only that, but we're discriminated against when it comes to getting a job. If the boss doesn't approve of someone being gay, he'll surely just fire them, or not hire them if he finds out when they apply. What difference does it make? How on earth would that affect job performance? Oh yeah, that's right. People believe stereotypes.



First off, just because I tell you I'm gay, and you HAPPEN to be the same gender as I, it doesn't mean I'm attracted to you. I don't want to get with every man I see, just as you don't want to get with every woman you see. I've had a friend ask me, every time I looked at a guy, "Would you do him?" No, I wouldn't, because I'm not a slut.


Not every gay male is feminine. I know and have seen plenty of jock-type gay guys. We don't all want to be women.


Ladies, as flattered as we are by you loving us because we're attracted to guys, stop. We have more than one dimension, and we won't be your "gay boyfriend". That doesn't even make sense. I've had a personal experience with this one. I had a friend who would constantly talk about how I'm gay. She would always bring it up in conversations, almost as if she was reminding me. One day, while we were eating lunch, I said something that was funny (I think...) and her response was "Oh Jeff, I don't think I would love you if you weren't gay." Well, yeah, I'm sure you would, because I would probably be the same person, just attracted to girls. Being gay is not the only thing I want to be thought of, and I'm sure I'm also not alone on that one. Anyway...more stereotypes...


Oh, here's one. And yes, I have been asked this before. "Do you get turned on when you look at your own penis?" I won't even go on about how stupid I feel that question is.


There are many other stereotypes out there, these are the ones that just irk me the most. I will say that, yes, there are many people that fit these negative stereotypes (well, most of them), but it has nothing to do with the fact that they're gay. If some guy is hitting on a straight guy, knowing that he is flirting with a straight guy, this has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's gay, it has to do with the fact that he doesn't know his boundaries. 




I just feel like the gay community is never going to be taken seriously because of how we are viewed by society. We're seen as girly, horny rainbow-crazed freaks who run around having sex with other men and dressing in women's clothing (a dramatization, of course). I don't think that this means these people need to change the way they portray themselves, but rather how people judge them. There are always gonna be the few who act exactly the way society views them, but that doesn't mean gays, as a whole, are stereotypical. We're never going to be treated the same at that rate, which would mean that, like we all are taught, our opposers need to see beyond the stereotype, and not let that cloud their vision of the people we truly are inside. I certainly don't want to live in a world where I'm prohibited from marrying the man I love, and I most DEFINITELY don't want to live in this world knowing that I'm judged because of the one thing people see me as. Gay.




To end this entry, I'll share a picture I feel is very accurate. 

Writers Everywhere!

Life hasn't changed much since I posted last. Haven't cooked any more delicious food, and I haven't started my fan-fiction yet...but all in good time, will this happen!


I found the most ADORABLE picture of my current obsession. Well, the characters of the show "Supernatural"...but come on. We all know I'm posting it because I find them highly attractive.

Oh...yes. Highly attractive. I've been watching this show religiously (kind of) since the beginning of summer. I will do my best to finish EVERY EPISODE by the time summer ends. I'm hoping to do that much sooner, but, well, you never know. It's contributing to my fan-fiction research...because...this will be what my first one is about! Supernatural, baby. If you're interested in reading it, hit me up, and I'll make sure you will be able to read it!


So today, I was just eating pizza with mi familia at this Mom and Pop pizza restaurant about fifteen minutes away from our house (It's called Rochelli's Pizza House, and if you live in the Phoenix, Arizona area of the world, you should try it out, because it's the only thin crust pizza in the world I can say that I absolutely adore). We're somewhat connected to the owners because my aunt knows them, and my family hangs out there a lot now. I knew I would eventually be meeting this owner, Mark Smith, and talking to him about the usual things like where I go to school, summer plans, major, and all that mumbo jumbo. Though, as if the heavens above were sending me a message, I never expected him to come out and say, (after I explained to him that I wanted to be a writer) "Oh! I've written a sitcom! You should read it. Here ya go!" This motivated me. Like, a lot. I don't know what it was, but hearing about all the work he had put into it, and all the times he's tried to get it produced, it just made me want to be a successful writer even more.


This also taught me a very valuable, and exceptionally different lesson of "never judge a book by its cover". Never in my life would I have walked into a pizza restaurant, talked to the owner, and thought "Oh, he's probably done some really cool things in his life, like written a sitcom!" It's things like these that make me realize that people have their own stories, and they've done a lot more than what I see on the surface. I better get to writing, because, you know, I want to be able to slip "Oh hey! You should read one of my works" into a conversation at an appropriate time. I'd feel pretty awesome.

Relaxation! Kinda...

I'm finally on my summer break! Thank the heavens above! I can finally just go through a whole day without thinking about academics or what's due the next day. Might I add, I had all A's and B's my first year in college. Do I rock, or what?

Now that summer's beginning, I've been trying to find things to do in order to keep me from dying a terrible death...of being murdered by boredom. Other than the large amounts of video games I will be playing, and the shows I need to catch up on, I'll actually be doing something productive,or at least I will be trying!

I've decided I want to learn to cook. I have been motivating myself by watching endless hours of Food Network. I want to be able to make delicious things, and hopefully be skilled enough to renovate dishes that I know and make them better. I feel like I've taken on quite the task...but I'm gonna do it! In fact, here's the first thing I cooked! (Thanks for helping, mom!)

So this marvelous dish is called Sopita. My mom has made it ever since I was old enough to remember, and I love it each and every time I eat it. When I try to explain it to my friends, I usually just say, "It's like Mexican macaroni and cheese". It contains macaroni noodles, tomato sauce, and colby jack cheese. For flavor, we add garlic salt, pepper, and some crushed red peppers for spice. I'm pretty sure I can make this on my own now, so I definitely know I'm making progress!


On a less exciting note, I also feel as if I'll just go back to being terribly bored again. There's just this void I feel like I'm trying to fill, (wow, way to be cliché), and everything I do just doesn't seem to help. I'll admit, I'm kind of missing the whole "dating" stuff, and I really hate admitting that. I just feel like I don't need a relationship to be entertained, but I also feel like I'd be a bit more upbeat if I did. I'd feel like the days wouldn't drag on and on.


Well, back to more exciting stuff! (Can't end this entry on a sad note.) I'm also thinking of ways to improve my writing. Blogging is one of them, which I will be trying to do more often, but I need more. I crave more. So...I might do something I wanted to stay away from. I might...write fan-fiction. Oh Lord, you have no idea how hard that was to say. Anywho, if you aren't familiar with the world of fan-fiction, it's basically taking books/movies/video games that already exist, and creating a story using it. (I'm trying my best to explain this...so bear with me!) Basically, you're just using that material as a premise, while creating your own story within it, using the characters from it and/or adding your own characters. I'm only so against it because I had a certain friend who would act like it was the actual story, and thus, I thought I would turn into a noob as well. (Noob: n. A person who fails.)


Hopefully, after this summer, I'll feel a bit better about myself and be somewhat productive. Here I come, summer! And on that note, I'll make sure to think of wittier comments this summer...

A First Experience

Disclaimer: This post is brought to you by Jeff on Three Hours of Sleep inc.


So I just recently played one of the most horrific games (well, the series is horrific) in my lifetime. Silent Hill: Homecoming is the name of this beauty, and I thoroughly enjoyed each and every moment of it (when I wasn't peeing my pants). It was quite an amazing story line, and I probably could have gone through the whole game without stopping. However, being tired forced me to stop at about 3:30am when I had started around 8:30pm with my highly interesting friends, minus the one who worked himself up so much, he fell asleep (you know who you are, mis amores!) Fatigue...how dare you!



Well anyway, this game gave me three hours of sleep that night. Only three hours for fudge's sake. I woke up at about 6:45am, and images of the game clouded my mind. I desperately tried to close my eyes and fall back into dreamland, but failed. It was a surprise to me that I even fell asleep. It was almost a struggle to figure out what to do with all this time on a Sunday morning. However, I did make it through just about half that beautifully haunting game, so I joined up with my brave friend to conquer my first true horror game (after consuming my body weight in caffeine, of course). I must be a masochist. I mean, yeah, I played Resident Evil games, but this was way different. Dead bodies don't fall from the ceiling in Resident Evil games, and creepy dolls don't soak up blood and become twice your size in order to kill you.


In this sense, I feel like I'm such a contradiction. Horror games are so excited for me to play, but I can't help but be scared shortly after I play them. I learned in Psychology that horror is supposed to be a certain arousal we have as human beings to create a sense of enjoyment, but why on earth would I still subject myself to this nonsense? Oh, right. It's fun.


Either the game was gradually losing its sense of horror, or I was being desensitized, because toward the end, I became less afraid of the game. This is actually my goal, to be honest. I hate that I become disturbed from horror games after playing them, but the plots are always so good, that I feel like I need to toughen up and play these games for real. As a writer, I feel like I'm also expanding my horizons by playing these games, and subjecting myself to the mental torment. In the end, I know it will be worth it!

Now, I have some advice. If you're like me, and you're a big wimp when it comes to horror, there are some things that I noticed I do to keep me from going insane.

1. If you don't care for the theatrical effect of the room (playing in the dark) you're participating in horror (games, movies, etc.), watch/play these games/movies earlier in the day. Make sure to stop at a time in which you can busy yourself with other things before you go to bed (especially if that's what bothers you).

2. Always remind yourself that the horror in the media (depending on what you're playing/watching) isn't real. Trust me. After Silent Hill, I had to convince myself that nurses with heads wrapped in bandages who attempt to slice your throat out...do not exist.


3. Have friends/family in the room with you. I always enjoy when my friends make commentary during gameplay to keep me from being too nervous to go on. However, I make sure that they stay quiet during cutscenes in games. (For horror movies, having someone with you can still prove useful, but only for moral support, and possibly not commentary, especially if you can't stand people talking during a movie. Just make sure they shut up when there's dialogue again!)


4. Just have at it! If you don't subject yourself to horror, you'll never get used to it, and you will always be cowering in fear.

Have fun!

Music

Music is one of things that EVERYBODY in this world loves, I'm sure. Certain types make us happier than others, and others are more pleasurable to hear, but our reasons for liking songs are much different. People enjoy beats, the lyrics, the way the person's voice sounds, and many other aspects of certain songs.

I happen to be a very avid Korean pop fan (I listen to rock/alternative. and some american pop as well, but Korean pop is one of my favorites, along with rock/alternative/indie). I enjoy it so much, that I probably listen to it for at least an hour every day. When I mention to anyone that I am a fan, a very common response is, "How can you like it if you can't even understand it?" Well, that's a great question. I enjoy music based on how everything fits together. If the words, instrumentation, and the person's voice all sound good to me, I'll enjoy the song. Very seldom do I find a song where the lyrics are just so terrible that I can't even handle it. If I really get curious about my koreans' lyrics, I just look them up. It's really not that hard.

This just really bugs me because it's like, why do I have to understand the lyrics just to like the song? I'll admit, I thoroughly enjoy songs with deep, lyrical meanings (Say Anything, one of my favorite bands, has lots of those), but I also enjoy songs in which the lyrics aren't all that great (depending on my circumstances). Like, my koreans. They sing about love and falling in it and all that good stuff. The lyrics can be pretty childish, and it doesn't take a whole lot of brain power to understand what their point is, but I enjoy the songs anyway. You have to be talking about some pretty terrible stuff for me to actually dislike a song for the lyrics.

Like everything else in life, we should like music for our own reasons, and not because of what anyone else says. I know, for sure, that I'm getting sick of people asking me about why I like Korean pop, even though I don't understand it. I choose not to follow the norm. I like it for my reasons, and not yours.

Support + Friends =...Well, it Doesn't Always Happen

You would expect, and hope, that your friends would be your main source of support for you and your choices (other than family, of course). What happens when you have those certain friends that just seem to leave you in the dust when it comes to being supported? How do you handle hearing that something about you is just something they don’t support?

Sorry, but I like to use these examples of my homosexuality, because they seem so relevant at times. I have had/still have friends that were completely against gay marriage. Obviously, I’m completely for it. It’s hard hearing that someone I admire and support in every way feels like I shouldn’t be happy in the future. I almost feel furious at them, so badly wanting to just give them every breath of spiteful words that I ever could, but I know that it just wouldn’t be worth it. What could I possibly say? 

That’s where the dilemma kicks in. It’s not like you can force them to support something that they don’t stand for, but how do you handle it when it happens? The best I’ve been able to do is try and avoid the subject at all costs, but when these friends (because they don’t ALWAYS keep their harsh opinions to themselves) say something offensive about it, I feel as if I have to retaliate, no matter how much I care about them. I don’t make fun of what they stand for, so I don’t expect them to do the same.

This support doesn’t even have to be drastic. It can even be smaller things. Just little reminders that say that they’re your friend, and they have your back no matter what. Acting a certain way about someone’s beliefs or what they stand for can leave them feeling abandoned. It could make them feel as if they’re the only one standing up against the forces of their opposition. Even if you don’t agree with some belief they just keep ranting on about, just say that it’s at LEAST interesting (because that’s a very neutral answer, according to my Humanities teacher), or praise them for how passionate they are about it, because aspects like that make us human. Friends need to be supportive, because no one deserves to feel alone.

Awkward Encounters

So you’re walking to class/work/to the store/your dog/your cat, and you come across someone whom you normally see somewhere that isn’t where you’re currently standing, whether it be at school, at work, or any other place you met them. Suddenly, you feel awkward. Has this happened to you? I know it happens to me.

I find it strange that we are weird about meeting people socially that we normally know through somewhere business related. In other words, seeing someone you know NOT in the place you normally hang with them, it feels awkward to talk to them. For example: I met someone recently who I only know around my dorm area, and they looked directly at me at least three or four times, and didn’t say a word. Sure, I could have waved, or just shouted, “HEY!”, seeing as I was about twenty-five feet away from him. 

Is it just impossible to acknowledge that these people you know CAN and WILL appear in your life, and that it’s perfectly okay to talk to them outside your natural comfort zone with them? This could apply to anything! When you have a person you talk to a lot in one of your classes, you feel pretty comfortable around them. Once you see them anywhere else, such as the grocery store, or a pet store, you become uncomfortable with that person. Can this really affect how we act around this person? And how is it that we just seem to forget who they are when we aren’t seeing them in places we normally see them? This bothers me. It really grinds my gears. How can you just act as if you’ve never seen them when you have absolutely awesome conversations with them in your common meeting area? I wish I could figure this out, but human motives aren’t always so clear. Could it be because they’re used to seeing you in a certain place, and when you see them elsewhere, it throws you off guard? In my opinion, that shouldn’t affect much, but what can you do? 

Kind of a sporadic topic, but hey, that’s what I do. I comment on those random happenings in life that keep you pondering.