Support + Friends =...Well, it Doesn't Always Happen

You would expect, and hope, that your friends would be your main source of support for you and your choices (other than family, of course). What happens when you have those certain friends that just seem to leave you in the dust when it comes to being supported? How do you handle hearing that something about you is just something they don’t support?

Sorry, but I like to use these examples of my homosexuality, because they seem so relevant at times. I have had/still have friends that were completely against gay marriage. Obviously, I’m completely for it. It’s hard hearing that someone I admire and support in every way feels like I shouldn’t be happy in the future. I almost feel furious at them, so badly wanting to just give them every breath of spiteful words that I ever could, but I know that it just wouldn’t be worth it. What could I possibly say? 

That’s where the dilemma kicks in. It’s not like you can force them to support something that they don’t stand for, but how do you handle it when it happens? The best I’ve been able to do is try and avoid the subject at all costs, but when these friends (because they don’t ALWAYS keep their harsh opinions to themselves) say something offensive about it, I feel as if I have to retaliate, no matter how much I care about them. I don’t make fun of what they stand for, so I don’t expect them to do the same.

This support doesn’t even have to be drastic. It can even be smaller things. Just little reminders that say that they’re your friend, and they have your back no matter what. Acting a certain way about someone’s beliefs or what they stand for can leave them feeling abandoned. It could make them feel as if they’re the only one standing up against the forces of their opposition. Even if you don’t agree with some belief they just keep ranting on about, just say that it’s at LEAST interesting (because that’s a very neutral answer, according to my Humanities teacher), or praise them for how passionate they are about it, because aspects like that make us human. Friends need to be supportive, because no one deserves to feel alone.