Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Coming Out

In light of National Coming Out Day (which was yesterday, but it's National Coming Out Week at my school, so all your arguments are invalid), I decided I would post about that major turning point in any Gay, Lesbian, or bisexual individual's life: Coming out.

Now from what I've seen and experienced, the reaction is either on or the other. The people you come out to can be accepting, or they won't. There's no "Well, I suppose I'm okay with it, only IF..." No. In my experience, that will turn into not accepting the individual. Because this can go either way, this is never an easy task for anyone. Hell, even to this day, I still get nervous when I tell new people that I'm gay. You just never know if that person will immediately turn you down, simply because of your sexual orientation.

It's really upsetting that there are even people that won't accept their gay child. Also, it's upsetting that some people just can't accept a gay person in general. I was told by my friend, who was telling his mother about a play that was going on at school, something she said. He was mentioning that one of the students in our school was playing a gay character, and the actor himself is gay. His mother then says "That's a shame." He asked for clarification, and then she said "It's a shame that you have gay people at your school." It's things like this that make coming out the most challenging thing in these people's lives. When they're surrounded by people like this, it can result in one of two things. They can either:

A.) Keep themselves "in the closet", never feeling as if they're allowed to truly be who they are.
B.) Become discouraged or hurt because once they're out, because their "choice" just isn't right.

People get bullied because of their sexuality, and if you keep up with the LGBTQ community, you know about the handful of teen suicides because of ignorant acts like this.

After bringing up our "choice", I thought of another point. It's somewhat off-topic, but I feel like it needs to be addressed. I'm sure that, when coming out, someone could be asked "Why are you choosing to be gay/bisexual/lesbian?" This really gets to me, because this is definitely something you don't choose. I'll admit, I would never choose being gay, because love lives don't come as easily for us. We don't have it the hardest, but it's definitely not all peaches and gravy. No one in their right mind would CHOOSE to be gay, and when someone says that we "choose" it, it really just makes my skin crawl. "Do you choose to be straight?"

I had to keep that short, or I'd be going forever.

If you're thinking about coming out, I have a few tips that might be good for you. This is mostly coming from my own experience, and from what I see happening with others.

1. I've noticed that, in this day in age, the teens and young adults are more accepting. If your friends seem to think that being gay/bisexual/lesbian is okay, then go for it. It's better to be out to a few than to no one at all.

2. Test the water with your parents. If they tend to have old fashioned views, maybe just mention things about the gay community. If they don't seem okay with it, maybe wait until you're not under their care, and you've got yourself settled and independent before you come out. You just never know what could happen to you if you're still in their care, and they find out that you're gay.

3. If you don't think you can find anyone to come out to, find a local group of some sort. I'm not very knowledgeable on what kinds of groups there are, but if you're in a college setting, there's bound to be a club you can join where you can be open and makes some friends while you're at it.

I don't have all the answers, but I certainly like to think I do when it comes to this subject. Like I said, it's never an easy thing to do. Once you do come out, though, it changes your life, whether it's for better or worse.

Song of the Week!
So this is, yet again, a song by The Bird and the Bee. I've been obsessed with this band for a few weeks now, and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite of their songs now. It's called "Again and Again" (as you can see), and for some reason, I kind of feel like I can relate to this song. 

That's it for now! Have a great day!

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